How should I pray?

This question is one of the most commonly-asked questions from new Christians. Prayer, of course, is communication with God. Traditionally, prayer is done by the closing of eyes, the folding of hands, and the bowing of heads. However, prayer can also be done with one's eyes open, especially in the case of driving. However, this question is likely not referring to the physical posture of prayer, but rather one's spiritual or emotional posture.

When it comes to prayer, there are a variety of different approaches Christians take in their attitude toward God. In traditional churches, a Christian comes before God in a more reserved manner. In newer churches, a Christian comes before God with a more comfortable and casual manner. The former recognizes God's sovereignty, and the latter His love. However, these two approaches to prayer still do not answer the burning question of how one ought to pray. So, answer this question, let's take a look at the Sermon on the Mount.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus preaches about what the Kingdom of God looks like. In His sermon, Jesus presents several examples of how a Christian should act. In one portion of His sermon, Jesus addresses prayer. Jesus says:

"When you pray, you shall not be as the hypocrites, for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Most certainly, I tell you, they have received their reward. But you, when you pray, enter into your inner room, and having shut your door, pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly. In praying, don’t use vain repetitions as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard for their much speaking. Therefore don’t be like them, for your Father knows what things you need before you ask him" (Matthew 6:5-8, WEB).

In this section, Jesus first provides examples of what not to do when it comes to prayer. Jesus warns against praying to get attention, which would be commonplace for Pharisees (the "hypocrites") to do. In order to show piety, Pharisees (educated Jews who abided by the Law) would stand at street corners and in synagogues to pray aloud. Jesus also warns against using vain repetitions, which the Gentiles did during Jesus' day. Gentiles, who were those outside of the Jews, prayed long and careless prayers to their gods in hopes that they would be noticed by these deities. Rather than using prayer as a tool for boasting or ritual, Jesus tells His disciples to do the exact opposite. Jesus commands that His disciples find a quiet place to pray and reminds them that their Father knows exactly what they need. Jesus argues that prayer ought to be private and meaningful, rather than proud and meaningless. Jesus then goes on to provide His disciples a model of how they ought to pray:

"Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy. Let your Kingdom come. Let your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors. Bring us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For yours is the Kingdom, the power, and the glory forever. Amen" (Matthew 6:9-13, WEB).

This prayer, frequently referred to as the "Lord's Prayer," is a simple yet powerful prayer for us to pray. This prayer connects us with three aspects of God: His sovereignty, His provision, and His grace. This can be seen in the first sentence of this prayer: "Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy" (v. 9). No doubt, this harkens back to the third commandment in Exodus: "You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God" (cf. Exodus 20:7). The second, third, and seventh sentences refer to God's Kingdom and His authority -- another aspect of God's sovereignty. This is reminiscent of what David writes in the Psalms: "The Lord says to my lord: 'Sit at my right hand until I make your enemies a footstool for your feet'" (Psalm 110:1, NIV). The fourth and sixth sentences refer to God's provision and His care for us. There is plenty in the Old Testament that speaks of God's care for humanity, including the famous Psalm 23: "The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake" (Psalm 23:1-3, NIV). God will provide and protect us from evil. The fifth sentence has to do with God's grace and forgiveness. We must ask God to forgive us for the sins (or, "debts") that we have committed against Him, and even more so forgive those that wrong us. There is much more that can be said on this prayer, but the main message is reliance on God. It is through understanding God's sovereignty, providence, and grace that Christians can develop a deeper relationship with God.

So, then, how do we pray? First, we must set aside time to pray privately. This is not to say that public prayers are wrong. In fact, there are instances in the Bible where multiple people gathered together to pray aloud (cf. Acts 1:14; 4:23-30). But, when it is just you praying, find a space that is private and quiet. Go into your room or a closet to pray in. Pray in the restroom if you need to. You can even pray (with your eyes open, please!) while driving by yourself or while you are out and about. Second, we must pray intentionally. God will hear your monologue of things you want done in this world; listening to them, however, is another matter entirely. By contrast, a short five-minute prayer asking for the courage and the wisdom share the Gospel will be listened to and engaged in by God. God wants us to present to Him whatever is truly on our minds, but He also wants to have a relationship with us. A spouse (hopefully) does not wake up in the morning, list off the things they want in their life to the other spouse, and then take off for work. Yet, so often, this is how we treat God. Be intentional in how you pray. Third, follow the Lord's Prayer as an example for your life. Ask for God's will -- not your own -- to be done. Ask for forgiveness and forgive those who hurt you. Put on the Armor of God and ask that the Lord will protect you from evil. And always remember, it is through prayer that we develop a deeper relationship with God.